Anahita

RAIN; rain, has always been one of the most memorable parts of my life. It either ruins me to pieces or gathers me and makes me one into a whole. The only company along my whole ride was, is and I think will be my thoughts. The only thing I ever remember doing is to drown myself in thoughts so deep that sometimes even I myself can't find me even when it takes forever. I drown in my thoughts with rain pouring outside and I in the middle of nowhere is more like a scene which is generally created by most of the fiction story writers especially when it comes to Bollywood making movies. One of the poem which I read not much long ago,

The rain outside pours down so sweet

A symphony upon the street

But in my car, alone in thought

A place where inspiration's caught

The pitter-patter of the rain

Falls in rhythm with my brain

My heart is heavy, deep in thought

Trapped in a web that I have wrought

The rain outside, it plays a tune

A song that mirrors my cocoon

But in my car, within my mind

I find the strength to leave behind

The worries that have held me down

That caused me to so deeply drown

The rain outside, it now reminds

Of the way that my soul unwinds

And in my car, I see a light

A way to break from thoughts in flight

For although storms may fiercely roar

The sun will shine again once more.....

My thoughts were interrupted when the car suddenly stopped. Suddenly a shout came from my front (tbh from Mr.coldy's mouth), causing me to flinch, "What the hell happened? Why did you stop the car?" The poor driver replied to him although fear was clearly visible on his face and also in his words, "I-I d-don't kn-know sir" only to get a shout in return "Then what the hell are you doing here? Go and find out the reason or do you have any wish to get fired?" "S-sir I-I'll go and check now".

Wow, just wow..... Who the hell does he think himself of ? can't he talk to the poor driver a little bit respectfully? it's not like he is the one who is paying him salary or is the driver's boss. Although I am not able to understand the reason why the driver is so scared of him, I get it that he does look kind of arrogant but don't they work for the same person? In that sense both of them should be colleagues. 

I really have a wish of fighting against Mr.coldy for the driver but as much as my anger towards him is true, so is my fear. I know that he is popularly known for his rude behaviour and answers. Also he does what he says so if he said that he is going to leave his work then he’d be leaving it. Knowing enough about him, I kept my mouth shut.

I closed my eyes for sometime and didn’t know when slumber took over me. Not much before I slept that my painful memories of my past again started haunting me, it felt suffocating and also felt like I am living that moment again. I do have a wish to forget it but I can’t no matter what. I tried several therapies, I changed many psychiatrists yet there is no change.